What I will not serve at Whit’s End…..

Or at least I would prefer that someone else is responsible for the on-site preparation (including tasting) and subsequent heart conditions of our customers.

Emulsions.

One word describes how I feel about these sauces, particularly those bound with raw eggs and only lightly seasoned… YUCK.

Culinary Arts Level One Day Seven (Emulsified Sauces and Sabayons)…

We had a very full day planned - to make 5 sauces (Mayonnaise, Hollandaise, Bearnaise, Beurre Blanc, Sabayon). We started the class with new partners, and my partner was having a rough day (source unknown). At 5:45 PM, my day was about to turn for the worse.

We started class by making mayonnaise. I have never made or tasted fresh mayonnaise before, and I do not like jarred mayonnaise (or jarred/canned/packaged/PROCESSED anything, really). I learned something about myself on Monday evening…  Mayonnaise is one of the few things I prefer packaged, preserved, “FAKE”, white, and only on tuna salad sandwiches. Mayonnaise is simply oil and vinegar bound with egg yolk and a bit of mustard. I incorporated the oil drop by drop, whisking continuously until there was an emulsion, and then added the rest of the oil in a thin, steady stream as instructed in the recipe. The mayonnaise looked gross but at least it looked like Chef’s, so I figured I had done alright. Then? I tasted the mayonnaise. I nearly yacked it back into the bowl. It was honestly one of the vilest things I have tasted in…. a very, very, very long time. I cannot remember the last thing I tasted that was so revolting. Chef tasted the mayonnaise and it was “right”. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK. I will never EVER make mayonnaise unless I absolutely have to…. But okay, on the bright side, nothing can be worse than this. Right? WRONG!

Next? Hollandaise – one of the five mother sauces - a warm emulsion, as opposed to mayonnaise which is a cold emulsion. I cannot remember the last time I tasted hollandaise (maybe I never have) because I HATE eggs benedict, or any other runny egg dish, or actually anything that has visible egg yolks (runny or overcooked). Hollandaise is simply oil (in the form of clarified butter) and water bound with egg yolk. Equally disgusting. And Béarnaise, a derivative of Hollandaise, is made by adding a reduction of acid (either white wine vinegar, or red wine vinegar and sherry to give it a nicer color), shallots, peppercorn, and tarragon and finishing with fresh tarragon and chervil.  I took on the Béarnaise …. It is much more tolerable than Hollandaise because of the added, and rather flavorful, seasonings….

 The recipe (for either Hollandaise or Béarnaise) requires approximately five minutes of beating the egg mixture. Over heat (bain marie in this case). By hand with our balloon wisk. Forget my wonderful KitchenAid mixer I have at home… We have to do this BY HAND! BY HAND?! For five (FIVE) minutes?! I have never beat anything for five minutes, let alone one minute. After 30 seconds I am convinced my arm is going to fall off! My whole body is sweating… PROFUSELY. My knees (yes my knees) are sticking to my houndstooth chef pants! My neckerchief (worn around the neck to absorb perspiration) is useless. I need to take it off and wipe my forehead and my chest…. and my back… oh and don’t forget my knees! What the heck?! Seriously! I begin defending myself to my partner, “I swear, I exercise. I work out. I run five miles every other day. I do yoga!” None of my training is helping me now. I am DYING…. In the kitchen… over a stupid Béarnaise sauce.  And then Chef brightens my life, “Get used to this. You’re going to be hand whipping creams and pastry creams in level 2-3.” WHAT!!!

Culinary Arts Level One Day Seven was EXHAUSTING, but ended on a quite delicious note with a sweet sabayon (zabaglione, the Italian version made with Marsala wine) which I whipped up after dinner on Tuesday evening for Michael.  I was happy. So was he.